Rewind two years ago when I was an excited and anxious mummy-to-be nearing my due date. I frantically searched online to find tips about my soon-to-be-role as a mummy. Suddenly, I come across many articles and posts about how guilty all mummies apparently feel for a lot of things they do once their babies are born.
Fast forward to the arrival of my baby and I found myself feeling guilty for not feeling guilty!
Well, let me be completely honest, there was that one time, the first night at home with a new-born where we were told to wake-up our baby every 3 hours to feed him; after 6 hours I woke up startled, realizing we had slept through our alarm.
But then I realised, why should I feel guilty? It’s not like we didn’t wake up because we didn’t want to feed our son.
It’s not like we decided to let him sleep and see what happens.
It was because we were exhausted after 3 days in hospital, 5 hours of labour, a whole bunch of new things to learn and oh, yes, a new person in the household!
Now, more than a year later, my son still wakes up every 3 or 4 hours. Sometimes I think he is trying to pay me back for that one night where mummy had the audacity of sleeping for 6 hours straight.
Every decision I made for my son, my family and myself during this past year and a half was because I truly believed that it was the best thing for him.
It’s because a mummy’s love for her child has no limit and she always thinks what her son is going to gain from the decisions she’s making.
How can I feel guilty about taking my son to childcare to return back to work, if my son has the time of his life every day playing and enjoying himself with his friends. Why should I feel guilty if this allows me to go to work and feel like a whole person once again?
How can I feel guilty for turning on the TV for him for an hour, if it means I can cook dinner for the evening?
How can I ever feel guilty for anything that I give or do for my son, if whatever I’m doing is because I love him more than anything else in this world?
So, mama’, STOP feeling guilty!
Unless you’re doing something to purposely hurt your child, please, please, please stop feeling guilty as it is not worth it!
Whether you decide to stay at home, go to work, take your child to childcare, leave him with his grandparents, keep him home, take him out, dress him up in loads of clothes or not, breast-feed or formula-feed, you are his mummy. You make decisions because you want him to succeed, to thrive, to be better than you.
Obviously, we should always listen to professional advice, because yes we’re mummies all full of love but we are not experts in all fields either. But don’t feel guilty for being human.
Instead, feel proud for all that you have achieved.
For being the whole world for your little one.
And bask in that smile, hug and ‘I Love You’ that you get at the end of it all. Because you are a splendid mum and a hero for the love of your life.