I’m sitting here on my own, having a very small break, listening to some music while my daughter naps. I found a page on Facebook called ‘Becoming Un-busy’ (is that even a word?). I’m thinking this is interesting, I would love to try this.
But how exactly do I make myself ‘un-busy’? With our crazy fast-paced lives, nowadays it almost feels like we are at a point of no return, and the scariest thing is that we see being “busy” as a positive thing, and have ‘admiration’ for people who are super busy.
We tell our best friend “sorry I cannot meet, I’m busy”, we refuse invitations to visit our family because we are too busy, we do not make time for ourselves because (you guessed it) we are too busy.
Stop!
Why are we doing this to ourselves?
Do we really need to be this busy? That we forget what life is really about. That we forget about our sanity, our life.
What are we getting in return?
I want to make it clear that I am not criticizing having an active lifestyle. I actually love being busy myself; it keeps me going and it gives me the energy to do more.
What I am saying is, there is a point when we try to do too much. When we start saying no to the important stuff, because we are too busy to see them as important. This is when we risk becoming overtired, and actually, end up doing nothing meaningful at all.
So why don’t we change the meaning of busy?
Since I’ve become a mum I decided I wanted to be less busy with the chores and become more busy loving my family, making memories, spending quality time with my child; you know the drill.
Let’s be busy doing what we love most!
That’s the kind of busy I want to be. I understand that life brings with it so many expenses that for most of us, having to work is inevitable. But with a lot of thought and some consideration I believe we can manage to achieve more balance.
Women, especially, are expected to do so much these days. We’re expected to raise our children, to have a wonderful career, keep up to date with fashion, and so on.
I have been thinking about it and came up with these 5 points which have helped me become calmer, mentally healthier, and actually happier. I hope that by sharing my views I can inspire at least one mum who is going through this phase to apply one or more of these tips.
1) Prioritise
Easier said than done I know. But it is definitely a start to try. By this I mean to prioritize the things that are good for your mental health. Be part of the priorities yourself. Do you need a break? Schedule it and take it! Even if it is a small coffee/tea break for half an hour a day. Just do it, everyone deserves a little time for themselves. If spending time with your family makes you happy, then make sure that you are getting both the amount and quality of time that you want.
2) Say yes and say no.
Don’t be afraid to say yes to any help that may be offered to you, and don’t be afraid to say no to anything that takes up too much of your precious time or that does not make you happy.
3) Get others on board.
In everything – be it house chores, quality time with family, giving you a break. If possible your partner should be a partner, which means an equal member of the family. No one should do less or more but a couple should work in partnership (tough I know).
If there are too many chores to do, divide them; if you, as a woman, are taking care of the kids, going out with them, taking them to activities, get your partner to also do his fair share. At the end of the day, this would result in more free time for you individually and as a couple.
De-clutter your life from people who only seek to drown you – steer clear of them. They keep you unnecessarily busy and we are trying to become ‘unbusy’ here.
4) De-clutter your life.
Too many useless things in the house? Give them away and you will have fewer reasons to clean up.
Too many toys which are not being played with? Give them to someone who may need them more than your kids do.
Too many negative people in your life? Yes you heard well – de-clutter your life from people who only seek to drown you – steer clear of them. They keep you unnecessarily busy and we are trying to become ‘unbusy’ here.
5) Let’s dance in the rain.
I obviously don’t mean to literally dance in the rain, although it would be nice to do it once in a while.
What has helped me is to let go. Your kids want to jump in a puddle of rainwater? Let them do it sometimes. The world will not end.
There are piles of dishes waiting to be washed but you just want to sit on the sofa sipping tea or to take a warm bath? Do it.
The dishes won’t die by staying dirty for a few hours.
In a nutshell, let’s start having fun and enjoying our lives in simpler ways.
I once read this sentence, I try to live by it and I wish to share it with you: “If it costs you your peace, it is too expensive”.
This article was written by BuzyMummy guest contributor Amanda Brincat, Wife, Mother and Senior Executive in Training Design and Quality Assurance. Amanda holds a degree in Social Policy and a Diploma in Management. Her motto in life is “A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blooms”.
