The focus for most couples once they get to know they are expecting, is the baby. Will it be a boy or a girl? Tall or petite? Will it look like mum or dad?
Once the baby is born, again, the focus is on the little bundle of joy. Is he feeding? Is he pooping? Is he sleeping? No one really thinks of what happens to mum and dad after the baby is born.
However the day a baby enters into a couple’s life, there are a number of changes that are inevitable. We have listed 12 ways relationships change, when children come into the picture.
1. You are not each other’s number 1 any more, at least for a short while. It is very easy to say, “Oh you should always put your partner first, even before kids” but when you are dealing with a newborn baby who depends fully on you for survival, it is inevitable that baby’s needs take priority in your family.
2. Lack of time alone (together). Needless to say, when you have a little baby to take care of, time alone with your partner tends to go to the wayside.
And even when you do have some time alone, it normally consists of getting some much-needed shut eye instead of catching up on quality time.
3. Disagreements on kid-related issues. Before having kids, one may not be aware of what their other half’s view is, when it comes to a number of issues relating to the raising of children. From breastfeeding to co-sleeping, schooling to babysitting, you may realise you do not see eye to eye on everything and this may cause all sorts of new disputes.
4. A change in character when the kids are around. Never screamed words out loud, ever in your life, especially in front of your partner? Always said you will not raise your voice with your kids? Wait till your kids grow up into 2-year old terrors and you will cringe to think of how you screamed to get them to stop punching each other.
5. Sleep deprivation. For many couples, with parenthood comes lack of sleep, and with lack of sleep comes snappiness and moodiness. Think back on your hungover days. Now imagine you are hungover. Every. Single.Day. All. The. Time. That is how most new parents feel.
6. Bye bye privacy. You think celebrities have it hard? Think again. Little children love surprising you when you are having a supposedly ‘private’ moment, such as taking a shower, using the toilet, and yes, even when you are having sex.
7. Lack of spontaneity. Before having kids, it was easy to grab your coats and keys and go out for a spontaneous romantic date. When kids are in the picture, you not only have to plan for a babysitter, you also have to make sure to prepare for anything that may happen whilst you are away, leaving you very little time to actually get yourself ready for your date.
8. Early nights. See point 5. When you are sleep-deprived, even though you may wish to stay up for hours after the kids fall asleep to drink wine and chat and get a takeaway and watch movies and all those activities that couples with kids do on TV, most of the time your evenings will consist of at least one of you passing out by 9pm.
9. Always on the go. You will both feel like you are doing absolutely everything around the house.
10. Time to yourself is a far away distant memory. Hobbies tend to get sidelined when kids come in the picture. Hopefully this is temporary and mum and dad can resume their slice of ‘me-time’, eventually.
11. Your bed is no longer the place for sex and sleep. Whether you are ‘pro co-sleeping’ or not, many a time you will wake up with a baby’s foot in your face instead of your partner’s warm cuddles.
12. A stronger bond. There is nothing more beautiful than witnessing the love your partner shares with your children, this in itself helps strengthen the bond in your relationship, amidst all the new challenges that come with having children.
Can you relate? Are there any other changes that you believe happen in a relationship when baby arrives? Feel free to comment below. Like our Facebook page to keep up to date with buzymummy.com.
